Sound of music - Von Trapp Angels
by tazzledmuch
Summary: have you ever wondered what it's be like if the captain and his children were Angels with angels wings. (not supposed to be realistic) have you ever wondered what it's be like if maria head butted Gretel, or if the captain actually plays with a rubber ducky, or if maria was really drugged and forced to marry the captain while unconscious, here's my take on it all:p!


**i created this story by telling it to myself out of boredom off the top of my head, while i was hyper on coffee one night, i tend to babble when i drink coffee, and then the next morning wrote this all down. **

**it was just my imagination. my story is kinda ridiculous. i don't have any oc's or mary sue's in this fic, all the characters or a little out of character though :p btw this is not supposed to be exactly like the movie, so i added a really wrong twist, which may burn your eyes.**

**this is an ABRIDGED PARODY so it will only be one chapter. enjoy! or not... whatever your opinion is, i find reviews amusing whether negative or positive. **

**SOUND OF MUSIC - Von Trapp Angels**

(maria is at the dinner table and begins to pray)

(the captain coughs and clears throat)

THE CAPTAIN: Maria. we don't pray at the dinner table we headbutt each other.

(glares at the captain)

MARIA: what?!

THE CAPTAIN: you heard me! now go headbutt Gretel.

(whines)

MARIA: but i don't want to headbutt Gretel...

(the captain looks serious and gives her a hard stare)

Oh... Fine!

(maria walks over to Gretel and grabs Gretel head and hits it with her own head Gretel brakes into tears)

THE CAPTAIN: look what you've done maria! go sit in the corner now! and think about what you have done!

MARIA: but... you!?

THE CAPTAIN: we don't talk about butts in this house maria.

(maria sighs and stalks over to the corner of the room and sits down facing the wall)

HAPPY!

(gives her an award wining smile)

THE CAPTAIN: very.

(the captain turns toward his youngest daughter)

THE CAPTAIN: Gretel. did maria hurt you?

(maria looks toward the conversation between the two)

(Gretel looks pitiful an sad nodding her head while innocently batting her eyelashes)

(maria rolls her eyes)

MARIA: oh.. please...

(maria faces wall again)

(while maria faces the wall again, Gretel smirks and shakes her head and mouths 'no...')

(captain von trapp smirks and gives Gretel a high five)

THE CAPTAIN: that's my girl!

-O-O-

(on the hill top maria is sitting in front of seven children with angel wings)

MARIA: alright!

(children chatter to each other about random stuff)

(maria looks annoyed and belts out like mickey mouse)

MARIA: SHUT! UP!

(the children all go quiet all curious why maria sounded like a Disney character just then)

(maria smiles sweetly)

MARIA: alright children! i'm going to teach you all to sing.

(the children groan)

Lisle: but.. maria we already know how to sing. out father showed us.

(maria rubs her temples in irritation)

MARIA: your father is the reason i'm in this mess...

(suddenly we hear wings flapping and captain von trapp swoops down and stand behind maria)

THE CAPTAIN: maria. it's not nice to to talk about someone when their not here.

(maria gasps dramatically and turns around)

MARIA: but... but... how...!?

THE CAPTAIN: still talking about butts maria, i thought i told you to stop doing that! (cheeky grin)

-O-O-

(captain drugs maria and carries her over his shoulder and marries her while she's unconscious)

(maria wakes up and the captain is laying on his side facing her on the bed smirking)

THE CAPTAIN: did you enjoy our honeymoon?

(maria looks shocked and then sits up and start hyperventilating)

MARIA: just a dream.. just a dream... just a dream.. just a nightmare just a dream..

(the captain gets off the bed, he's not wearing any clothes)

(maria screams in agony at the sight of captain Von trapps naked body)

MARIA: oh god it burns! it burns...!

(the captain stretches and yawns obnoxiously)

THE CAPTAIN: well... as amusing as this is. i'm going to take a shower, humans can make you rather sweaty when you make love to them.

(he walks into the bathroom and shut the door)

(maria looks horrified the her face becomes angry)

MARIA: what a creep!

(maria bury her face in the pillow)

(from inside the bathroom)

THE CAPTAIN: i heard that maria.

(maria scream in to the pillow dramatically)

MARIA: Argh!

-O-O-

(the captain is in the bathroom in the bubble bath filled tub playing with a rubber ducky)

THE CAPTAIN:

Rubber Duckie you're the one,

You make bathtime lots of fun,

Rubber Duckie i'm awfully fond of you

Vo-vo-dee-o!

(the captain finishes singing then looks straight into the rubber ducky's eyes)

THE CAPTAIN: remember we speak of this to no one.

(looks around the tub)

THE CAPTAIN: now where's that sail boat. hmmm...

-O-O-

(maria stand on a chair about to hang her self)

MARIA: well goodbye world.. i guess this is the end.

(she kicks the chair down and the rope snaps sending her falling to the floor)

MARIA: eeeep!

(maria lands on her face and mumbles to the floor)

MARIA: god must hate me this year... sending an angel into my life... grrrr... pervert... what an ass...

(captain von trapp materializes out of thin air and begin chuckling)

THE CAPtAIN: i heard every word you said maria.. ha! but i will choose to ignore you against my better judgement...

(maria hasn't gotten yet and beings muttering and cursing darkly with her face on the floor)

(the captain grins and lays down onto the floor with his face on the floor)

THE CAPTAIN: hello floor. you've just met her a couple of minutes ago, but this is maria, say hello to my wife floor.

(no response maria looks over and glares then turns away)

THE CAPTAIN: yes.. floor.. i know floor.. shut up floor! (the captain screams)

(maria jumps up and run the night stand and pulls out a gun and aims at her heart to shoot herself)

MARIA: don't come any closer!

(thee captain walks over to her and snatches the gun from hands)

THE CAPTAIN: hmm... where'd this come from...?

MARIA: give it back! i cannot bear your insanity any longer!

THE CAPTAIN: if you killed yourself we'd still be together for ever! because angels don't have physical forms. i asked god if i could marry you.. and he gave me the thumbs up!

MARIA: i hate you...

(pats her shoulder)

THE CAPTAIN: i know... but you'll get used to it... after all it's only forever.

-O-O-


End file.
